Willing to write.

I went to register myself into driving lessons, but found all places booked. I will have to wait few more months, before I try again. Well, ok I can wait as long as I don’t have a car, and I do not intend to buy one in the near future. I had the idea in mind, but due many circumstances I decided not to. Will wait again for one more year or two before I’d buy one, hopefully. Mm I bought a mobile though. This thing I couldn’t wait for any more.

***

Sometimes you know, I feel lucky enough to have everything as such in my life. But other times I feel I’m living my night mare, to have life turning into similar pages of black and white. Work, eat, sleep. I would kill myself before continuing this way, and so I’m thinking of finding myself a place!

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3 months ago I knew quite a beautiful lady, who is a writer and an announcer in one of the Egyptian radio stations. She made an interview with me regarding women in the Egyptian blog sphere in general and Laila specifically. In a way she is lighting inside me a fire to continue laila, say NO and search for myself. Probably she doesn’t know that. But I will tell her one day isA, that she is the reason behind me thinking how to be something “valuable” for the next couple of years isA. I will work.. and will be. This country is very beautiful and it needs everyone to work WELL enough to be proud of him/her self.
There isn’t anything called “mafeesh fayda”. There is always and always “fayda” unless people are dead. Which I couldn’t see now. She is alive, and brought live to my thoughts as well.

***

Work is going fine. After I transferred as a shift-less normal employee. In fact I like it more now. I like working with my partner. He is quite a decent person, and though we are different in religion but I never cared!. I enjoy discussing work problems together because I am sure he will give me an honest advise.
One day I will tell him the above.. as well..

*****

I save a "one day" to tell people many things..
And though I wish to say all that now.. I am afraid.
Afraid if I did, I’d be accused of seeking personal benefit. Afraid of being mis understood. People do not wish to hear the truth, though they won’t wait to blame you if you tried to lie or hide.
And I am afraid of waiting till either one of us would go for good. I don’t know the future. But I know, that life the more it gives, the more your chances that "life" will take revenge...