الأربعاء، فبراير 28، 2007

للدكتورة هاجر سعد الدين

بحلم باليوم اللى أصحى الصبح.. الاقى كل البرامج العتيقة دى إختفت من اذاعة القرآن الكريم
وبقت من الصبح لبليل قراءات متصلة .. وفقط لا غير

الجمعة، فبراير 23، 2007

Dust to dust..

These weeks I’m passing by the hardest experiences; my 1st times too. I feel quite embarrassed doing what I do, and feels a bit more like being awkward. Like, imagine a girl living in a nutshell, yet next morning she was thrown to live life for real, forced to walk in the streets, work on her own, deal with people. I reckon, she’d feel like people are gazing at her while its normal and may none recognize her in the 1st place, but she’s simply not used to it.

Well, you might not understand. And the fault is all mine. I don’t know how to elaborate. I don’t know how to tell exactly what I’m feeling now. Confused. Out of mind sometimes. Yesterday I needed to disappear after what I told mum in front of Bava and mai. I mean, no I didn’t offend anybody, yet the fact that out of nothing I said exactly what I feel and trying to hide. In fact, trying to make myself believe while I don’t know that I don’t. But your heart sometimes takes chances to speak on your behave without a prior notice. Bava looked more considerate than me. Ok, I admit it. I’m not good at dealing with the other. We are humans, but its not all what makes our identity. Tell me what is our identity? How can I separate you as a human than you as being a male or female, nationality, religion, living status, education, even your preceding reputation? It’s all about you and me. We, all of us, are not merely abstracts hiding behind a vague 2 words called “human beings”, and not simply a soul, flesh and blood. But a combination of all the previous together making what really makes you you, and me me.

I didn’t understand it before, and can’t even now. How can 2 people confront each other claiming each is on the right side, and none gives a damn care to think for a second why the 2nd can’t be right too? And why can’t I understand that fact too, how can I write here preaching while I am too proud to believe the other might be right too!!
The feeling itself is suffocating even if I know before hand all the above with the tiny details.
And what made me even belittle me in front of me that other day, the look I saw in Bava’s eyes. How can I speak bluntly that way?!
There are always things that should be buried unspoken. They might not hurt anybody, but would show a part of your identity that may be others might not get it right, because you didn’t put it right, or your heart spoke too open, or the thought is not readily acceptable amongst the rest.

Why do we live behind closed doors all the route, though the route itself holds enough surprises the doors can’t help in?…

I might be exaggerating if you knew the whole thing. And yeah true.. but the idea itself that triggered me to talk this way. I’m in bad need to talk with someone who’d understand me when I tell that I’m not an angle, but I don’t want to turn into a devil. I can’t be the other, but I need to have more .. hmm.. I don’t know.. but have more consideration.. or no.. let me put it right this way.. to have better ability to act normally and really mean it.

Hatred always burns the one who have it..
Though its not hatred now.. but God please.. I wish not to turn so someday..

الخميس، فبراير 22، 2007

Today's Quote..

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball (1911 - 1989)

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch.
Orson Welles

دنيا ولا دايم الا وجه الله

مال حال البطاطس هى كمان.. معوج كدة ليه؟
كان فى الأول بالكتير شهر سبتمبر وممكن أكتوبر لو استحكمت الظروف، تلاقى البطاطس المحمرة مابتقرمشى وتطلع من الزيت لونها بنى.. وطرية وطعمها مسكر!!..
دلوقتى قربنا على آخر فبراير والبطاطس حالها مايعجبشى!
طب قولولى يا ناس أعمل ايه؟ بما انى كائن فضائى لا يأكل الجبن ومشتقاتها، ينمو ويترعر على البطاطس..

فمن هذا المنطلق.. أطالب كل الجمعيات المختصة للمطالبة بحقوق البطاطس وأتمنى من كل أفراد الشعب تكثيف المساعى والجهود لتوفير حياة أكثر صحية وموائمة لطبيعة البطاطس من رعاية واهتمام مع كتابة ميثاق عام يشمل كل مبادئ الثورة البطاطسية الجديدة!
وبييب بييب بطاطس.. أوه.. بييب بييب بطاطس..

الاثنين، فبراير 19، 2007

Pages of my life..

I started –hopefully isA- the final term, can you believe it?
I can’t believe it.
I can’t take in that probably after few months isA I’ll have to run a life on my own. How can I make it? How can I adapt myself not going to college?! How…
Gosh.. that’s like.. like.. I don’t know!

Now I’m into the hassle of choosing my elective courses. Simply a headache that takes around couple of weeks at the start of every term, where everything acts as a massive mess. You can’t figure out what you should be doing and what not, which Drs. to join their classes and whom to dump. What reports to deliver and what not!!
Then… puff.. all of a sudden everything goes quite.. life goes on boringly normal for a month may be, till its high time for midterms…
Takh takh takh.. the 3rd world war is on for a week…
A week rest, then the 3rd world war on again till the end of the term..
All the reports, assignments, projects.. etc gather in the so called month between the end of your midterms and the start of the finals. Then silence back again. Either vacation or few un-finished projects, or training.. etc.. most important there ain’t exams anymore..
However, this term is abit different. For after the finals I’ll have a final month to finish the graduation project that apparently I know nothing about till this moment!!!!!

Man.. am I really really talking about 5 years of my life?
As if, my history started and ended within those years, and the previous have been forgotten. I got used to waking up at 6, and returning at 7 or 6 or 5.. I got used to.. I don’t know.. the lecture halls, the fun at the corners, the cafeteria, the class folk..
I got used to me saying “Hello, I’m blah blah blah.. Engineering student”..
Now.. no.. after few months isA.. “Hello, I’m blah blah blah.. and no longer a student”

I mean, I know c’est la vie, everything should be changing.. but I can’t help myself feeling that un-balanced. May be, lack of consciousness. The in-ability to believe a fact..
I’ve been waiting for this over 5 years, yet when its near, I don’t feel much comfortable having it..

Aren’t we all the same human after all?!

الأحد، فبراير 18، 2007

وماكنش العشم

افتكر يمكن من بعد ما رجعت من أجازتها الأخيرة بآخر صيف، وحال منى الشاذلى ببرنامج "العاشرة مساء" لا يسر عدو ولا حبيب! خصوصا بعد مابدئت قناة المحور فى المنافسة ببرنامج "90 دقيقة" مع مى ومعتز..
وأصبحت –حاليا- بالكاد ممكن أستحمل مشاهدة حلقة على بعضها...
وظنى انى مش الوحيدة اللى ملاحظة اسلوب منى الجديد فى التحيذ المفاجئ يمكن من بعد آخر أجازة بالتحديد.. فاصبحت تتسم بالتحفظ الى حد كبير اللهم الا ما ندر من الحوارات غير المغازلات السياسية بالتأكيد..
أضف على ذلك مداخلاتها شديدة الاندفاع.. واللى أكد نفس الشعور عند العديد من الأصدقاء –مثلى- حوارها الأخير مع "ليلى رستم"..
يعنى بالبلدى كدة.. كل مرة تقطعها فى اللحظة اللى خلاااااص بنكون فى قمة فضولنا لمعرفة ردها حتى وان كان خارج نطاق الخدمة.. لان ليلى رستم مستضافة على البرنامج مش عشان منى الشاذلى تتكلم!! دا غير بقى اللغة عند منى.. فحدث ولا حرج.. بالرغم من كونها خريجة الجامعة الأمريكية على ما أعرف..

حاليا وبعد انقطاع الدى اس ال، بقيت "لستُ أدرى" المنكوبة والمحتاسة وزيادة عليهم المحتارة.. مش عارفة أقضى السهرة مع مين..
منى ومش قادرة أتابعها على هيئتها الجديدة وأخبارها المكررة.. وفى نفس الوقت ما ببلعش خفة دم معتز الدمرداش، وكلى قلق على مرارتى الوحيدة من (تنشية) الحاجة مى..

بس مأخرا ظهر حل مؤقت مع قناة "أو تى فى" الجديدة.. واللى لا يخفى على أحد اختلافها فى سياستها عن الباقين، وبغض النظر عن نوعية البرامج فى اتفاقى معها او اختلافى انما فى حد ذاتها تتسم بالذكاء صراحة وعجبنى جدا فكرة تحديد المشاهد من البداية، بدل السمك لبن تمر هندى.. حبة شباب متجدد وحبة لأحباء خريف العمر زى مثلا "المحور"..
يعنى لما أفتح وألاقى العسيلى، والشيف شريف، وسمير غانم، وحتى اسم "خالد كساب" فى اعداد برنامج "شغال".. يبقى فى وقفة شوية..
وبعيدا عن الروتانات، والاخباريات، والام بى سى هات.. لما تدخل على قناة خفيفة الى حد ما زى "دريم" وتتصبح "بالحقيقة" مع وائل الابراشى اللى مخلى المنظر يفوق سواد الخروب... وفى نفس الوقت لما تحول القناة وتلاقى العسيلى مثلا بيكلمك عن (مشاكل المرور فى مصر) بشكل ساخر جدا.. ظنى ح تتفرج على العسيلى طبعا، حتى وان كان حواره مجرد تفريغ طاقة بلا هدف زى "الحقيقة" المرة!!..

انما فى الأول والآخر كلامى اليوم مش مقارنة بين التلات قنوات المصرية، "دريم" لصاحبها أحمد بهجت، ولا "أو تى فى" لنجيب سويرس، ولا حتى "المحور" لمعرفش مين بالظبط (أظنه رجل أعمال هو الآخر).. انما فى واقع الأمر هو يمكن فضفضة لكلام محشور فى زورى من فترة موجه فى الاصل لمنى الشاذلى..

فيا منى لو عمرك بتعدى هنا، أو لأى حد ممكن يوصل لها الكلام دا...
مناشدة قلبية، شخصية مِنى لكى.. لأنى من زمان وأنا بقدرك جدا.. ويشهد بلوج "لستُ أدرى" على الكثير والكثير من الاعجاب الشخصى بمذيعة جديدة، تمثل جيلى لدرجة كافية، وعلى قدر كبير من الثقافة والنضوج والحيادية....
أتمنى أشوف برنامج "العاشرة مساء" هو البرنامج العائلى الأول فى بيتنا الكريم زى الأول (ان ماكنش فى معظم البيوت المصرية).. وترجعى منى بتاعة أول سنة اذاعة..
والسلام ختام..


الأربعاء، فبراير 14، 2007

Movie Time again ;)

I must have fallen in love with movies.
Today, I've watched complete 3 movies. Malcolm X, if only and the Italian Harem scuare.

"Malcolm X" was the silliest of all. I won't object that at the end, I kind of felt it. Though, the direction was kind of strange, up to dull may be. The background music was awful. Even the story wasn't complete, especially for how Muslims were presented there. I was so on a rage and pissed off!
At least any proper director should fetch the integrity of his presented content. And that's exactly what I loved in Harem Scuare.

The 2nd movie in a row was "If only".
Few months ago, I felt a bit curious to watch that one after reading my friend's "Ana w afkary"'s review published in El destoor news paper. He seemed a bit enthusiastic about the story, and probably after I've watched it tonight, thinks he is right. Its all about Ian who dreamt of losing his girlfriend in an accident, and woke up the next morning to find the every tiny detail of his dream is coming true; Sometimes not in order, other times with a twist. But at the end there was the belief, it was the last day for his girl friend on earth, so how can he make it for her. The story goes on this way, till the end of the day when Ian himself dies!..

The story leaves you thinking. "What if you’ve been in his place? Whom you’d regret not telling something? How can you make it from them starting from now?".. yes, its always what is left now that matters, not what we may expect.
I loved the story, loved the acting though the production was very poor and the background music sucks, since it wasn’t a company’s production. I mean it wasn’t fox or universal or even paramount; but only someone was hit by the story, warmed up, then viola, its there in a beautiful movie like this one. Which I think, if it has been cared for much more, it might have had better publicity world wide.

The 3rd and the last one ba2a was 7ekaya! The Italian-Turkish "harem Scuare"
Remember my post about “La finestra di fronte”, so it’s the same director Ozpetec and tell you he is brilliant!
The story itself is different. In fact its one story narrated within the real story for 2 ladies met at a train station. One is leaving and the other is returning. The old was telling her story in the Sultan’s Harem, and her secret forbidden love with the Nigro servant.
I particularly liked this one for 2 reasons, and can risk watching it for the 2nd time despite all the nudity through out the movie because of:
1. I know I don’t like turkey that much. But history connects us all the way. Stories and stories have been told about the Ottoman Empire, and now its was the 1st time to delve into the secret life of the Sultan, and live between his wives. I never imagined how they taught the ladies how to act as one, not just in the outer manner but in the secret lives as well. That was incredibly amazing for me..
2. I wonder why there was that somebody on my mind all through the movie. I’ve been remembering him as if its his story. Its not personal I’m sure of that. But there was something hypnotizing me to continue watching, observing what can be his following step.
The symbolism in the whole thing is amazing as well. The direction is over amazing. I was seriously in one of the Harems. Ooh!.. I loved it!

Now, my advise. Forget about Malcolm X, it’s a fail. Go for “If Only”, if only you want to feel the passion for someone before you lose him/her. And if you have a strong heart, just go for “Harem Scaure”, and looks like I’ll go now –myself- for all the other movies by Ozpetec. That man looks as if he got something to say.

I wonder now, what will be the next on the list ;)

PS: Forgive me this time but No links, since I'm on dial up, and it feels sucks...

الثلاثاء، فبراير 13، 2007

3o2bal 3andokom

W tani tani tani... Rag3een ya Dial up tani... wl 3azaaaaaaaab mn taniiii..

it took me over 3 hours to download a 5 MB file,, LOL,, and amazingly its still downloading :D

الاثنين، فبراير 12، 2007

حبة كدة وكدة

صحيح أنا طولى زاد شبر ونص ولبست نضارة وشوية وقربت أتخرج. وينفع أفتح حساب فى البنك، لولا مشكلة أجيبك منين يا فلوس. واقدر ادخل لجنة انتخابات واصوت "يالهووووى"، ومين عارف مش ممكن سنة ولا اتنين وابقى اول من "لا تدرى" وأترشح.
لاء وحاجات تانية كتير.. ما انا –وبلا فخر- من اللى تقدر تقول عليهم "البكر الرشيد"..

انما ولحد دلوقتى مافى مرة لقيت فرصة أدخل فى المناقشة المهمة حامية الوطيس.. مين أجمد فى الاتنين مازنجر ولا جرنديزر، وتلاقينى بقول بكل ثقة... "جرنديزر دا كان فتى أحلامى"
وهب ثوانى تلاقى الخناقة هياها عليت والناس سخنت، وكل واحد يقف يدافع.. "6 مليار يقولوا مازنجر هو الحل" ومن بعيد.. "يا جرنديزر يا اما بلاش.. واحد غيره مايلزمناش"

وآخرة المتمة بعد ما تنفض القاعدة وأروح بيتى.. أول ما أصادف مرايا فى طريقى... هب.. أقع م الضحك..

ماقلتليش صحيح.. تفتكر فعلا مين أجمد... مازنجر ولا جرنديزر؟؟

الأحد، فبراير 11، 2007

Quite disappointing..

Originally uploaded by lastoadri.

There isn’t anything more worst than standing long waiting for your bus.
Then after you take it, you discover you’ve taken the wrong one..

Thus I say..

السبت، فبراير 10، 2007

من وحى الذكرى


شمس الأصيل دهبّت خوص النخيل يا نيل
تحفة ومتصورة في صفحتك يا جميل
والناي على الشط غنى والقدود بتميل
على هبوب الهوا لما يمر عليك

بى اس: الكلمات لبيرم التونسى، من رائعة أم كلثوم "شمس الأصيل" تلحين رياض السنباطى
أما الصورة فأخذتها ساعة غروب من أمام شط النيل، وقت زيارتى لأسوان

الجمعة، فبراير 09، 2007

Toot Toot Hatshibsoot..


Now I can announce.. I've completed the set on flickr..
You can watch the complete photo collection I took in my visit to Luxor and Aswan..

The slide show
The set itself

الخميس، فبراير 08، 2007


Originally uploaded by lastoadri.
Walking thru the photos right now and feeling pity. I'm greedy. There were lots and lots of beautiful things I could have shot; but totally forgot. And how can't I forget?
Now I wonder where I was the last couple of days, really in Luxor and Aswan, or place from heaven on earth?!

No, I don't have an answer.

And if you asked me what was I feeling all through the cruise I'll tell you.. fear "rahba" and "entma2".

I've met my ancestors before at the pyramids and the Egyptian museum. Each time got a different flavor, yet this time, and this time alone, I was proud Egyptian as if its my 1st time to know what's the meaning of the word. And why not. Yes.. it was my 1st time to taste it..
This heritage I was walking through, is the ruins of my great grand fathers. And who knows who stepped in here before me too..
All the tombs were robbed, only the Tut Ankh Amon's tomb was discovered complete (can you imagine the wealth?). Almost all the oblisques and treasured monuments were sent to different cities of the world, and us were left with the ruins (can you imagine the tragedy?). The temple of the karnak, the Nile at sun set, the beauty of God's hand make everywhere, the weather, the people.. Aswan people got the best smile one can meet.

What to add?!

I don't want to look the dreamy person, but yes, it was a dream. 5 days passed like a dream flashed in a sky like a comet then disappeared in Cairo's dim and trains whistles.
I fell in love with Luxor & Aswan..
See, I visited the temple of karnak twice per day for the 1st day, and the 2 times I felt it different. Standing so strong with dignity up to the sky!
The temple of Luxor at night with the lights lit every where leave no space for words to describe a thing.
The beauty in Temple Fiala. The beauty of man's work & ALLAH's creation *full stop*.
The Nile with the felucca for the Nubian village. Hour and half going and another returning in the best spot of the entire Nile (yeah the place near Agha khan palace).

1st timer..

1st time to travel all alone, only with friends. 1st time to visit there. 1st time to take a cruise. 1st time to draw "hena" on my hands. 1st time to feel that "3azama".

May be other time I'd tell the story in details. Yet at the gate of Karnak, where the stories start and end at the same moment. When time loses its meaning, and magic surrounds your sight.
Words elope.
You'd gaze at the cravings on the walls and know right away.. people may go astray or facts twisted.. But there, the essence of real civilization remains.

PS: You can always see the rest of my photos here though I still got even more about to upload isA..

الجمعة، فبراير 02، 2007

Please take a min to..

I know, the Pyramids don't need all that. It should have been included automatically in the new7wonders final list. However, if its there, so I think we have to do it :)

Ps: Can't seem to stop Loving the "anything" related to this country ;)

قدامك سكة سفر

-- على أيامى كان القطر بيقوم على حوالى الساعة 8
-- ياه.. على كدة احنا لسا زيكم
-- لا بس أكيد قطارات زمان غير دلوقتى..
-- فعلا.. ع الأقل كان زمان بيوصل..

(لحظة صمت تبعتها نظرة قلق)

الخميس، فبراير 01، 2007

odamik sekt safar ;)

John Denver -- leaving on a Jet Plane

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing

Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go