My up's and down's

Though I have work today, I’ve slept yesterday at 4 am. I was tried, but I couldn’t sleep. My mind is occupied, my time is occupied.. my every inch is occupied. Tired.. exhausted.. running after something, and I’m not sure if I’ll reach it.. I’m not sure if its OK to run in that direction..
No guide, no light.. no previous experience to judge based upon
God!.. why is it so hard to think sometimes..
I want to let it all out and be free.. really free.. why can’t we feel freedom.. why do we have to be bound to earth and uncertainty.. Why oh why I don’t know!

I wish I am in the desert right at the moment. NO cars. NO buildings. NO smoke. NO noises.. nothing but earth and sky.. nothing but fresh air and stars..

I can see it all.. but I feel lost..
I know myself.. but I don’t comprehend..
I am smart.. but acting dump..
I am at rage.. but resorting to silence..
I am happy.. but want to cry
I want to fight.. but running away..

I am a million things I can’t understand.. and 10 million others I don’t know how to describe ..

I am up and down.. worried and sure.. cheerful and depressed..

I want freedom to me and myself..I want freedom more than anything else..