لما نبقى سوا

واتمنيت يكون عندى برطمان شفاف أحوش فيه كل الذكريات الجاية لبعد كدة

Humming..

I'd like to run away from you
But if I were to leave you I would die
I'd like to break the chains you put around me
And yet I'll never try

No matter what you do you drive me crazy
I'd rather be alone
But then I know my life would be so empty
As soon as you were gone

Impossible to live with you
But I could never live without you
For whatever you do / For whatever you do
I never, never, never
Want to be in love with anyone but you

You make me sad
You make me strong
You make me mad
You make me long for you / You make me long for you

You make me live
You make me die
You make me laugh
You make me cry for you / You make me cry for you

I hate you
Then I love you
Then I love you
Then I hate you
Then I love you more
For whatever you do
I never, never, never
Want to be in love with anyone but you

You treat me wrong
You treat me right
You let me be
You make me fight with you / I could never live without you

You make me high
You bring me down
You set me free
You hold me bound to you

I hate you
Then I love you
Then I love you
Then I hate you
Then I love you more / I love you more
For whatever you do / For whatever you do
I never, never, never
Want to be in love with anyone but you

I never, never, never
I never, never, never
I never, never, never
Want to be in love with anyone but you
But you


I HATE YOU THEN I LOVE YOU
(Celine Dion & Luciano Pavarotti)

وأنا وهى فى العربية

قالت لى وإيديها معلقة ع الكلاكس.. الناس مابقاش عندها صبر

In the middle of the road

It’s 1:30 am, and I can’t sleep. I have a headache since 5 pm may be, and till now I just can not sleep. You know when the pain is coming through your eyes and from the back of your neck till the very center of your head.
El La3na 3l sodaa3..

2 days ago I was thinking about my life and I highly considered taking a pause. Its very early for one, but I should monitor myself, where am I heading in 5 years from now. And so far I found me reaching no where I’ve imagined to my self.
I admit it, I don’t have a clear, sharp and focused vision for my future life. But at least I am sure its not where I am starting now.
I stopped reading like since a month ago. Stopped listening to new music. Stopped working my handy crafts. Stopped attending my gym sessions periodically. Stopped learning driving, or at least searching for a good school to practice. God! I stopped watching movies. I stopped walking. I stopped writing. I stopped talking with my parents. I stopped FUNCTIONING my brain.
I feel dizzy and over distracted.
El la3na 3l ekt2aab..

I am thinking a lot. I know at least one very satisfying incident happened to me in the last month or so. But you know, I just wish for the rest.. I dream and think. ALLAH knows better, but I have to think and work, and only God makes it going.. that’s what I’m sure of. And that’s what I try to do..
Having more faith in myself. Dreaming I will fit in the place I dream of. I will fetch my vision and write it clear everywhere. I will make that someone as happy as I can. I will write more often. I should write more often.
El la3na 3ala kol el la3anaat..

Mmm…
And my first decision will be ..
I will sleep on time..

"When we think we know all the answers, life comes and changes all the questions."
Anon

عشان بدى أتكلم

من أسوء أنواع الأحاسيس، لما تحس كإن عقلك "بيأكلك". عمال تفكر فى كل الإتجاهات، وفرضت كل الإحتمالات، ومخك مصر على إنه مش عايز يريحك من التفكير. مع إنه موضوع أبسط من كل التعقيد أو يعنى ما يستاهل كل دا الإهتمام.

ويظل الأسوء من كل دا ودا، لما تلاقى فى عز إحتياجك للكلام، بيفقد الكلام قيمته. بتكون عارف ومتأكد إنت نفسك تقول إيه، ورغم كدة مابتعرفش تعبر صح، أملا منك فى إيجاد حل أكثر واقعية من الكلام. لكن الكلام بيسكت، والحل ما بيتوجدش. مخك مشغول ومن كتر شغله مش عارف يوقف لفه لحظات، تفرغ شحنة من التفكير وترجع تفكر تانى مش مهم. المهم تخف الحمل عن عقلك. لكنك -لا إراديا- كإنك غاوى تعب وسادية متأصلة فى شخصية سعادتك منذ الصغر.

بجد إحساس مقرف. خصوصا لما تلاقى حد حوليك نفسه يخفف عنك، لكنه مش قادر، أو مش عارف يعمل ايه.
كإنك بتتقتل مرتين فى نفس الوقت.. مرة عشان تعبك.. ومرة عشان تعب غيرك لتعبك.


لو كان فى الدنيا زرار refreash... أعتقد -فى حالتى دى- كنت إرتحت..


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بى إس: وحشتنى سلاماتى

إذن..
سلاماتى

My favorite flower

My Sister's Engagement Tulips
Originally uploaded by Couppas

I wonder why do I like this one the most.

Classy? Beautiful? Elegant? Chic? smooth? Soft? Bright? tender?..

Do you think it indicates anything about my personality, or its just a flower..

I love Tulips..
The Rose and Violet the most..
And if I ever got the chance, I'd open my own bookshop, with fresh tulips everyday on my desk just around the corner..

A secret everybody knows

Some people are so unbearable ya3ni, and if I could, I would go and kill them.

Our problem as Egyptians is that we don’t have any limits, and if someone tried to, its totally taken against him/her. As if its not your right to park in your private zone!
You can say somebody is tall, but he can be taller than somebody or not as tall as some person.. yet when it comes to privacy.. nothing is more private that other. What is personal is personal, you have to respect this wither you like it or not. Because at this point, its not you who define what should be kept as private and what can be left to the open.

"You should knock before allowed to enter a hall, room, flat.. etc. That’s how Islam taught me. And holding a secret means holding a secret. That is how Islam taught me as well!"
If you don’t understand the last basic rules and the morals behind, then excuse me, you are not a normally well functioning human being. .


There isn’t anything I hate as much as passing words… adding to the end “but be ware it’s a secret”!
GOSH! IF YOU UNDERSTAND IT’S A SECRET, THEN WHY DO YOU PASS IT ON YA BANI ADAM!!

Imagine your password is with everybody. A everybody knows it’s a password, so everybody shouldn’t be telling it to the rest of everybody except after confirming it’s a password.
No fun about it! it's a password, and you got to state it clear!
YALHWI 3l 3’ABA2!

Now, I was put in a situation I hate. Ok, I had to withdraw a primary decision because of that so-called person who made everything to the open.
And Only Today I discovered the fact that everybody knows about everybody, while I am living in the balala land… Thinking as private as I thought I am only proved me as ignorant and dump as I can be..

Thanks everybody for the over whelming surprise.
You actually made my day…


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PS: There is no need to tell me I am exaggerating. I thought I was, till I knew what I knew today.

لما قالولى.. وقلت لأ

أوقات بحس إنى باعاند الدنيا بمعاندتى لنفسى..
ومع إن كل مرة أندم وأقول المرة الجاية ح توب
تيجى المرة الجاية وتتعاد الحكاية من الأول
وعمرى ما توب..

دلوقتى يا ترى العمل إيه؟
العمر ساعاته محدودة وبتجرى جرى
وأنا بين الندم والحيرة.. محتارة..
لا أنا عارفة أنسى ولا عارفة أفر

Pictures hanging in the door way

I wonder how could people upload all their photos on FaceBook. I know you have "only friends" on your list, but photos mean lot more to me than just things I watch from time to time. It means, memories.. history, privacy, jewels.. my own secret jewels. I can allow people to take a peak-a-boo once.. or worst case scenario, uploading one or two at most.. but throwing the whole pile online?!.. It's a crime! and people got to be prosecuted for that!

Attitude

So I stopped asking her how she is, so she would stop asking me how I am. But she never did, and each time I feel irritated more and more.

Yes, I am a very conservative person who likes to keep her private life for her self. Not an open person and not an extrovert. Do not like poking nose kind of people, and so I tend to be the same.

But some people don't understand that in order to let others to respect you, you have to respect yourself and respect others too. In order to let people treat you kindly, you have to start and treat them kindly too. In order to let people leave you alone, you should leave them alone first!



It is horrible people. Beware of it.

Some people –like me- HATE to hear someone asking them private questions, especially if you know that they are not always open to anybody, and that if they needed something, they ASK!