أصدقائى التانيين

من فترة طويلة لاحظت مدى إعجابى بالأدوات المكتبية. نوتات كبيرة وصغيرة.. كشاكيل ملونة.. أقلام حبر ورصاص.. برايات، اساتيك.. مساطر.. كله عندى له مكانته الخاصة. ولحد دلوقتى تلاقى فى مكتبى أقلام وكشاكيل من ايام المدرسة.. ما إستعملتش.
ضعف يمكن.. حب تملك إحتمال.. فقط، كل اللى متأكدة منه إنه إقتناءها بيجلب لى سعادة غير طبيعية، وأرجع ع البيت فخورة بنوتتى الجديدة.. مرة ورا مرة، نوتة فوق نوتة، المكتب حاله يتلخبط.. والدولاب يتكركب.. وماما تتكهرب.. والبيت يبدأ ثورة تنظيفية لإستيطان الكراكيب.. وفى وسط كل ثورة من الثورات وأنا فى أشد الإقتناع بأهمية كل ورقة فى حياتى طبعا طبعا، أضطر فى آخرة المطاف ألملم كل الحاجات فى حتة شنطة صغيرة..

بحب ملمس الورق الأبيض، بسطور خفيفة.. أمشى عليها من غير ما تجبرنى على إشارات.. أطلع وأنزل براحتى.. خطوطها بتساعدنى أكمل سور جنينة بيتنا فاردة دراعاتى للهوا يخبطنى كدة هوه.. أتنطط وأتشقلب.. وأرجع تانى من أول السطر..

الاقلام دى لها قصص تانية خالص!..
مش همه عندهم هواية تجميع الطوابع والعملات؟ أنا بقى هوايتى تجميع الأقلام.. عندى علبة فيها أقلام من كل مكان زورته أو مؤتمر حضرته وقدرت اقلب لى قلم من بين الزحمة.. تخيل بتفكرنى بموقف مع كل كلمة تتكتب ع السطر؟.. بحب الوانهم الملخبطة، وأشكلهم اللى مش مِرَكِبة.. وذكراياتهم المنعكشة.. بحسهم شئ مهم جدا جدا، وطبعا طبعا، مش أى أى اللى يفكر يطلب يستلف..

لاء ولا الخط..
فى خط واضح، ولطيف.. القلم يجرى ورا أفكارك جرى.. وفى قلم غامض، ومش صريح، يجبرك تفكر فى مبتدأ الفعل وآخره.. فى قلم يموتك، يحبس نفَسَك قبل ما يتولد.. وقلم تحسه بيندهك، بيكلمك ع الورق أو يحسسك إنك محتاج تكلمه.. بيكون أوقات أقرب لك من صديق أو رفيق أو قريب.. وأوقات بيكون القلم على دا الورق السبب إنك تعرف أجمل ما عندك..
بس إنت غالبا ما بتعرفش..

فى تانية إعدادى طلعت من الأوائل مرة، فأهدانى والدى قلم سنون روترنج لونه فرانى ميتاليك.. دخلت به كل الإمتحانات بعدها عشان بتفاءل..
فى إعدادى هندسة، وقع من الشنطة فى أوتوبيس نقل عام.. دورت عليه كتير.. وكنت مستعدة أدفع فيه كل اللى حيلتى ساعتها لكنه إختفى.. حزنت عليه زى ما يكون أول مرة اعرف معنى كلمة "الإفتقاد"..

هو أكيد ضعف قدام الأقلام والورق.. ريحت الورق الجديد بتجلب تفاؤل.. والورق القديم بتجلب نشوة للمكان والزمان.. والأقلام بتطرح معنى جديد كل يوم.. مزيج من الراحة والإمتنان.. وأشياء مش دايما بتتلمس.. لكنها دايما دايما، بتتحس...


سلاماتى

Before turning 18..

Zeinobia tagged me to write 6 things everyone should do before turning 18.
I’ll try to mention 6 things I regret not doing. Based on my experience, I think this way might help others, just in case.


1. Train the brain to memorize: learn to remember things and keep them safe in mind, and learn where to search for them in your memory. Memorize the Whole Holly Quran. Memorize poetry modern and new. It would really help you when you turn older.
See I’m 23, but feeling mentally exhausted with a short term memory like mine. Sometimes, it sucks. How about when I’m 50 or 80 years old, most probably would be living a world doesn’t belong to ours.

2. Play sports: Never skip PE sessions like how I used to. Force your parents to enroll you in any game. Play little and a lot. Move your body, refresh your brain. Run and swim. Learn to ride horses, and how to shoot a basketball.
I’ve never did that before, and now I regret. I try to join gym sessions, but it cost me pain all through my muscles. Its not easy, and I would never return as fit as before.

3. Learn the piano: every girl should learn the piano when she’s young. She should enrich her musical senses, it will help her later on. She’ll know how to taste arts. How to be as soft as a melody, wafting elegantly through life.

4. Read, Read and write: learn your mother tongue and other languages too. Learn German when you are young, its hard to learn it old. Read, read, read, read.. never stop reading.. make it your habit. And write. Learn how to know life thru its tiny details. Open your mind to new philosophies, and other opinions are well. Save your money for books. That’s the one thing I never regretted that I’ve really done :)

5. Mingle with people: Don’t be shy of who you are. Mingle with people and have your intellectual identity. Learn how to take your rights without hurting others or belittling yourself. Be proud of your success no matter how small, and learn how to ignore other’s negative feedback, no one would care about you as much as yourself and your parents.

6. learn how to choose the right outfit: follow beauty magazines. There is no harm for a woman to stay elegantly beautiful. She should learn how to tailor her clothes, and mix her colors. She should know how to putt make up and make her hair. Just don’t waste your money on beauty salons, but at least go there and indulge yourself every once in a while.



And I tag: Bavalova, Nuha, Sherif, Nehal, B, Jade, Tarek, Yehia, ADsabry, Dee, Gjoe, Shaimaa, Qabbani, Rain, Sara, Ana w Afkary, Mokhtar, Eyewitness and Memo... And to everyone passing :)
And for who doesn't have a blog, please reply with a comment ;)


Good luck all :) tell us what you regret not doing before 18

Last couple of weeks

So last couple of weeks, I’ve been working on my daily routine. I discovered I waste so much time infront of my computer which in return affects me negatively.
1. I turn more intense whenever there is a network outage.
2. my eyes hurts.
3. I sit less time with my parents.
4. read less.
5. write less.
6. stopped my Canvas.
7. hurts my back and neck.
8. hate people.

Sooo… what I’ve been doing lately, and think I’ve succeeded to a great deal in, is minimize my internet usage to a one hour max per day. I quickly check my mail and the blogs I follow, mostly while logging off all my IM’s. and tell you what, while I’m writing there isn’t any internet, and I’m not feeling so bad about it. Its like, whats the deal.. I’ll write a little and then read my story. I feel refreshed!
As for reading, I think I’m reading with a very fast rate. Unlike any other time in my entire history, where I’ve been having work or studies besides. In other words, exclude the time when I was in holidays.
I read like from 1 hr to 1:30 every day before sleeping, and try to vary my readings in a way that would enrich my mind even better.
No technical readings in the weekends. Nothing work related in the weekends. Its all for me to relax and have all the fun in the world.
After the working days, I do read a little bit of technical material to help me continue in work. Then check my mail, then go and switch completely to reading a novel, then sleep.
Canavas is during watching TV. I try to follow “El 3ashera masa2an” every night. Its one hell of a program, and one hell of an announcer.
Every Sunday morning, I go to the gym for an hr or 2 hrs of mere sports. Then I go walking for an hr or so. While walking I put in my mp3 and start my French lessons. I close my eyes while walking so as not to see people and speak as loudly as I would like without any embarrassments.
Ah, bear in mind that through out the sports time, I should never think in ANYTHING!.. I should not concentrate in ANYTHING. Let the world burn in hell, I should spend time for myself.

For the next couple of weeks I need to:
1. Read Quran and fast Monday and Thursday.
2. lose weight.. I have really turned fat (that’s a fact)
3. increase my technical readings.
4. really finish work at 6! I shouldn’t stay more than that.
5. get done with the bugging issue that already took so much time and worry.
6. decrease eating! Especially candies.

Things I need to buy:
1. Rest of Canvas threads. (I should sit today and write them down in a papers)
2. Mobile
3. Camera, or at least fix the one we already have.
4. A small lamp light with white light to read on before sleeping. I feel lazy to get up and switch off the lights at the end of my room.
5. 1Gb Ram for my computer.
6. Ahmed Bahgat’s books from Dar El Sherouq.
7. Valuable Alba watch.
8. USB Flash disk.

And by so, I believe that would be enough, see ya on good health.

صباحِك منور

أن تفتح عينك صباح يوم ما، لتجد رسالة بنتظارك فى بريدك الإلكترونى من صديقة قديمة قرأت آخر ما كتبت على مدونتك، فقررَت السؤال عن أحوالك والإطمئنان على ما حالت إليه أيامك.. ثم تنهى كلامها بدعم تلقائى كى تواصل إستمرار الحياة ..

يزيد بداخلى يقين أنه ربما يكون هذا هو أفضل ما أنتجته الحياة الإفتراضية من إنسانية

حلقة العاشرة مساء مع رحاب وغادة وغادة

من زعيمة الأراضى اللستُ أدرية الى طائر الرخ فى أرض البطاريق
"نردها لكم فى الأفراح"


الجزء الأول
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syLZOpGVn3o

الجزء التانى
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTbXhqmN3w8

الجزء التالت
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NLXyB8Nq44


للى ماشفهاش.. استمتعوا
سلاماتى

On the missing piece of life..

I feel tired. That’s all I have to say. I just feel tired as if I’ve been running for years. I can not think. I can not focus. I can not write.
Well yeah, still I am content for everything. At least, hurrrray, I am working shiftless. :D like any normal person. No more waking up late at work. No more spending nights away from my house. But still going everyday is boring. I know now its more easier to meet friends on satuday mornings… but the 4 days off were marvelous. I am tired! And wish to go and sleep..
Yes yes, I will go and sleep.. shortly after I finish writing..
But what to write?
I do not know..

Yesterday I discovered something. There isn’t a single something I’ve started and completed. Every thing gets boring just before the last mile. Drawing.. writing.. DXing.. Blogging..
Where am I heading? No.. where am I now?
No where.
Just an average person, with average dreams if not below average.
I feel lost.

There is something missing in me that needs to fire me up. To go and move the mountains. Its not a matter or arrogance, but I know always that I am a unique person in a way. Everyone got to tell himself that every morning.
May be I stopped feeling unique once I stopped believing I am? You think so?
There is missing piece in my life.. I do not know where to find it.. or how to find it.. or which particular piece that is..

غداً، سأشترى أباجورة جديدة..

وإن معرفتش تكتب.. إكتب
أصل الكتابة زى القراءة.. تعوّد

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إشتريت الأباجورة فعليا فى مارس 2009